the beads of ash slipping
through my fingers
the honeycomb cirrus
stretching days endless
around my lethargy
the dopplered sirens
releasing death to its maker
the asphalt yard
filled to the brim
with shattered hubcaps
and dried blood
the looming deadline
the empty beer bottle
the blinking lights,
raindrops
gliding down the cracked windshield
of night's discontent
the system
the open mic
the closed mind
blame anything,
everything
but me
Thursday, January 26, 2006
my first rejection letter...
Bryan,
You've placed me in a difficult position. When we spoke on the telephone last semester, I told you that I didn't remember you specifically and therefore wasn't a good choice for a recommendation. You sent me a story draft in the hope that it would jog my memory. It didn't. I drafted a recommendation for you based upon the meager information at hand but realized that it was unlikely to help your cause. As it would have likely result in the rejection of your application, I didn't send it. I cannot behave unethically and fictionalize a recommendation, but I know that you are not asking me to do so. This being the case, you will need to find a replacement recommendation.
My easiest course would have been to send the recommendation and be done with it; however, I could not do so in good conscious as the draft you forwarded and your tenacity in your application suggest that you could have the stuff to go the distance. Once you're in, let me know if you are in Atlanta and would like to visit the workshop and share your graduate experience. Remember: write every day.
All best,
recommender
You've placed me in a difficult position. When we spoke on the telephone last semester, I told you that I didn't remember you specifically and therefore wasn't a good choice for a recommendation. You sent me a story draft in the hope that it would jog my memory. It didn't. I drafted a recommendation for you based upon the meager information at hand but realized that it was unlikely to help your cause. As it would have likely result in the rejection of your application, I didn't send it. I cannot behave unethically and fictionalize a recommendation, but I know that you are not asking me to do so. This being the case, you will need to find a replacement recommendation.
My easiest course would have been to send the recommendation and be done with it; however, I could not do so in good conscious as the draft you forwarded and your tenacity in your application suggest that you could have the stuff to go the distance. Once you're in, let me know if you are in Atlanta and would like to visit the workshop and share your graduate experience. Remember: write every day.
All best,
recommender
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
what the game's been missing...
not Juelz Santana...his new album is garbage (as expected)
Disney's game is missing Pixar no more. They bought Pixar for 7 billion. go figya
Pacer's game is missing Ron Artest and apparently the Kings will be missing his game. I see Artest in a Lakers uniform very soon.
My beloved Maryland Terps will be missing the academically ineligible Chris McCray's game starting tonight when they play Georgia Tech, 7 pm ESPN. I guess 3+ years in college does not necessarily equate to any knowledge gained. Go to class nigga!
My game is missing a paycheck but i'm on the grind. pray for me...
Disney's game is missing Pixar no more. They bought Pixar for 7 billion. go figya
Pacer's game is missing Ron Artest and apparently the Kings will be missing his game. I see Artest in a Lakers uniform very soon.
My beloved Maryland Terps will be missing the academically ineligible Chris McCray's game starting tonight when they play Georgia Tech, 7 pm ESPN. I guess 3+ years in college does not necessarily equate to any knowledge gained. Go to class nigga!
My game is missing a paycheck but i'm on the grind. pray for me...
Thursday, January 12, 2006
in response to the reader that remarks "i really liked it" after reading a poem of mine
you hated it
or didnt understand
you just don't
like reading
especially when asked
probably missed
the metaphor planted
on the third line
ending on the next--
my favorite part
you only read the first line
and counted silently the other moments
you imagined would lead
to the end of the poem
you're not impressed
see no impressions
beyond the ink
one might ask
what should be said
after reading
"i really liked it,
it was great"
seems kind enough
but this poem was about
death, and at the end...
what's great about that?
or didnt understand
you just don't
like reading
especially when asked
probably missed
the metaphor planted
on the third line
ending on the next--
my favorite part
you only read the first line
and counted silently the other moments
you imagined would lead
to the end of the poem
you're not impressed
see no impressions
beyond the ink
one might ask
what should be said
after reading
"i really liked it,
it was great"
seems kind enough
but this poem was about
death, and at the end...
what's great about that?
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
from the driver's seat: daydream
i.,
with you in the passenger seat
the city is a long tunnel without lanes
i run red lights
fingering your palm
licking your smile
one hand on the wheel
with you in the passenger seat
the city is a smoking gun
we're shot from
targeting the shadow lights
of a city we've never been to
i run stop signs
to deliver us from sirens
and the ocassional passer-by
envious of me licking your smile
clean of foreground,
revealing tongue;
left turn,
horizon.
with you in the passenger seat
the city is a long tunnel without lanes
i run red lights
fingering your palm
licking your smile
one hand on the wheel
with you in the passenger seat
the city is a smoking gun
we're shot from
targeting the shadow lights
of a city we've never been to
i run stop signs
to deliver us from sirens
and the ocassional passer-by
envious of me licking your smile
clean of foreground,
revealing tongue;
left turn,
horizon.
boom blip
fortune tellers lie
your future hasn't happened yet
or it happened yesterday
too late to look back
as soon as it happened
your mind changes it
like you drove by a baby
holding a rabbit
but the next moment
you'll remember driving
by a baby holding a
rabbit with larger ears
i'm tired of trying to make sense
of what they tell me to make sense of
i don't want to run anymore.
i quit. ok bye.
your future hasn't happened yet
or it happened yesterday
too late to look back
as soon as it happened
your mind changes it
like you drove by a baby
holding a rabbit
but the next moment
you'll remember driving
by a baby holding a
rabbit with larger ears
i'm tired of trying to make sense
of what they tell me to make sense of
i don't want to run anymore.
i quit. ok bye.
blip 2
who said he knew me
lied about it, yeah he did
unfortunately ican't come out
to play right now
i smell gasoline
i dropped my lighter
through my shadow
and it fell out of my mouth
through the ground
today i'm half-empty
.
lied about it, yeah he did
unfortunately ican't come out
to play right now
i smell gasoline
i dropped my lighter
through my shadow
and it fell out of my mouth
through the ground
today i'm half-empty
.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
new year's evolution
the world does not revolve around me
but it should
smoking is one of the worst things to inhabit my life
and still
i can't seem to let it go
go figure
i drink too much
i eat fatty, greasy foods and enjoy them very much
i love my girlfriend
we have no need for titles
we have a need for each other
the need has grown now for almost 9 months
she is the best thing to happen to me in 2005
i want to leave DC
i need a job, a real one
you know, the type where you make money
i've thought about all my pasts and futures
all night at the bar
and still all i can come up with
is an empty bottle
smoke
and mirrors
24, and the hours
the world should revolve around me
but it doesn't
it revolves despite me and my issues
apathy doesnt make it hurt less
whatever it is
it, now, being everything
and anything
or nothing
circles larger and larger
nothing
and to think this post was supposed to make sense
yeah,
right
but it should
smoking is one of the worst things to inhabit my life
and still
i can't seem to let it go
go figure
i drink too much
i eat fatty, greasy foods and enjoy them very much
i love my girlfriend
we have no need for titles
we have a need for each other
the need has grown now for almost 9 months
she is the best thing to happen to me in 2005
i want to leave DC
i need a job, a real one
you know, the type where you make money
i've thought about all my pasts and futures
all night at the bar
and still all i can come up with
is an empty bottle
smoke
and mirrors
24, and the hours
the world should revolve around me
but it doesn't
it revolves despite me and my issues
apathy doesnt make it hurt less
whatever it is
it, now, being everything
and anything
or nothing
circles larger and larger
nothing
and to think this post was supposed to make sense
yeah,
right
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
rumors
him say
she said
you be
the secret
taste bud
caught
in between
teeth
seasons begin
with your
leaving,
winter;
and your
arrival;
spring
*
she say
him said
body electric,
you be,
the heart's
quicksand
returning
to earth,
rebirth
on silver pearls
of shattered
moonlight
the calm
beyond
the bond
physical
*
we heard
they spoke
a third
language
love's
vernacular
silence,
eyes
walking across
the pallete
of empty space
full
and resting
upon the
familiar
black light
she said
you be
the secret
taste bud
caught
in between
teeth
seasons begin
with your
leaving,
winter;
and your
arrival;
spring
*
she say
him said
body electric,
you be,
the heart's
quicksand
returning
to earth,
rebirth
on silver pearls
of shattered
moonlight
the calm
beyond
the bond
physical
*
we heard
they spoke
a third
language
love's
vernacular
silence,
eyes
walking across
the pallete
of empty space
full
and resting
upon the
familiar
black light
Monday, December 19, 2005
how bout dem redskins!
dem boys- 7
dem skins- 35
first sweep of the regular season rivalry since '95
dc, sunday was a good day.
dem skins- 35
first sweep of the regular season rivalry since '95
dc, sunday was a good day.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
siren
the infinite pursuit
of the sweet music in my ears,
that loud parade of death
down florida avenue.
sirens, migraine grenades
for the ill-prepared
and being that i never am
i at least become accustomed
to my fingers trembling after
each explosion of sound
as i stare into the back window
of acceptance or salvation,
to catch a glimpse of some
end not yet finished or done
hours ago. when my pursuit is
over, i'd like to go slowly
into the great night full of stars
shedding the sparkle of silver
tears one million years--trapped
in the nightmare of lights, blinking
my sanity six feet under
of the sweet music in my ears,
that loud parade of death
down florida avenue.
sirens, migraine grenades
for the ill-prepared
and being that i never am
i at least become accustomed
to my fingers trembling after
each explosion of sound
as i stare into the back window
of acceptance or salvation,
to catch a glimpse of some
end not yet finished or done
hours ago. when my pursuit is
over, i'd like to go slowly
into the great night full of stars
shedding the sparkle of silver
tears one million years--trapped
in the nightmare of lights, blinking
my sanity six feet under
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
3 am songs
Beck- Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes
Foreign Exchange- Sincere
Interpol- Hands Away
A Tribe Called Quest- Once Again
Meshell Ndegeocello- Love Song #1
Marvin Gaye- Come Stay With Me Angel
Oasis- Champagne Supernova, She's Electric
Erykah Badu- I Want You
Death Cab for Cutie- Transatlanticism
Led Zeppelin- Going to California
Cee-Lo Green- Young Man
Foreign Exchange- Sincere
Interpol- Hands Away
A Tribe Called Quest- Once Again
Meshell Ndegeocello- Love Song #1
Marvin Gaye- Come Stay With Me Angel
Oasis- Champagne Supernova, She's Electric
Erykah Badu- I Want You
Death Cab for Cutie- Transatlanticism
Led Zeppelin- Going to California
Cee-Lo Green- Young Man
highway 101
we are level with the bay
near palo alto,
the sun is a staple in the
sky, in blue delight,
the wind whispering
overcast in san francisco
we bring jackets from
the san jose hills,
the mustang purring
familiarity with the
smoothness of the road
under us
i admit this being my
first time behind the wheel
of a convertible,
invigorated, every inch
of asphalt a new world,
every smile of yours
reassurance that the unknown
city
shall welcome me with
open arms
near palo alto,
the sun is a staple in the
sky, in blue delight,
the wind whispering
overcast in san francisco
we bring jackets from
the san jose hills,
the mustang purring
familiarity with the
smoothness of the road
under us
i admit this being my
first time behind the wheel
of a convertible,
invigorated, every inch
of asphalt a new world,
every smile of yours
reassurance that the unknown
city
shall welcome me with
open arms
an accusation revisited
i step into the store
no longer a man
,i am, reduced
to black-- a shadow
of discontent,
the guilty searching
for his noose
to hang in,
this is where
i belong
guilty, proof
being inconsequential,
extra, a conviction
that goes without
saying, "yes,
your honor, i did
it and i apologize"
her premonition:
she has seen me
before or someone
of the liking
makes me wish
i was guilty,
the black now
having a face,
speaking a name.
no longer a man
,i am, reduced
to black-- a shadow
of discontent,
the guilty searching
for his noose
to hang in,
this is where
i belong
guilty, proof
being inconsequential,
extra, a conviction
that goes without
saying, "yes,
your honor, i did
it and i apologize"
her premonition:
she has seen me
before or someone
of the liking
makes me wish
i was guilty,
the black now
having a face,
speaking a name.
Monday, December 05, 2005
heisman
will it be Bush...
or Young?
Stats:
Reggie Bush (USC)- rushing: 187 carries, 1683 yards, 17 TDs
receiving: 31 receptions, 383 yards, 2 TDs
1 punt return for TD
Vince Young (Texas)- passing: 183/296, 2,769 yards, 26 TDs, 10 INTs
rushing: 136 carries, 872 yards, 9 TDs.
Friday, December 02, 2005
searching, always searching
I
expectation, the goings-on--
the rhythm of thought
expectation, something more,
movement, the wind,
a lonely expletive
mumbled under breath
cursing your existence
hoping you are someone
else you believe
has it better
II
the drunk funk of the bar,
weigh-station, libation,
shenanigan not your salvation,
ethereal, lest you forget
caught in a hangover
the wet bed of sweat,
a sober morning
III
It needs to be done, now,
whatever it is
waiting for life to begin
wanting the pain to end
wanting the poem you'll never write
to save you from being you
the timeless mess of consequence,
the belittled id
the psychology of it
neurotic, cigarette butt
granulated sugar,
mcdonald's break
desperate housewife,
tortured soul, infinite madness
a completed circle,
the dotted i in the middle
the loneliness of belonging,
the fleeced masses.
IV
a song i lose myself in
the loss never found
a canceled check
the loan, the bill overdrawn
coffee, liquor
a brother's predicament
katrina, memory
vision of things to come
prophetic
pathetic
travelling without moving
circumstance, chance
fate, the last laugh
the last line
jokes on you
always, you
expectation, living short of it
argument, resolution
duly noted witness
of the absurd
participant in all
you've denounced
hypocrite
depression
loving yourself, holding fast
to the love of others
waiting, for something
not quite sure
can't describe it
but you keep going
until, finally
there are no words left to utter.
expectation, the goings-on--
the rhythm of thought
expectation, something more,
movement, the wind,
a lonely expletive
mumbled under breath
cursing your existence
hoping you are someone
else you believe
has it better
II
the drunk funk of the bar,
weigh-station, libation,
shenanigan not your salvation,
ethereal, lest you forget
caught in a hangover
the wet bed of sweat,
a sober morning
III
It needs to be done, now,
whatever it is
waiting for life to begin
wanting the pain to end
wanting the poem you'll never write
to save you from being you
the timeless mess of consequence,
the belittled id
the psychology of it
neurotic, cigarette butt
granulated sugar,
mcdonald's break
desperate housewife,
tortured soul, infinite madness
a completed circle,
the dotted i in the middle
the loneliness of belonging,
the fleeced masses.
IV
a song i lose myself in
the loss never found
a canceled check
the loan, the bill overdrawn
coffee, liquor
a brother's predicament
katrina, memory
vision of things to come
prophetic
pathetic
travelling without moving
circumstance, chance
fate, the last laugh
the last line
jokes on you
always, you
expectation, living short of it
argument, resolution
duly noted witness
of the absurd
participant in all
you've denounced
hypocrite
depression
loving yourself, holding fast
to the love of others
waiting, for something
not quite sure
can't describe it
but you keep going
until, finally
there are no words left to utter.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
wednesday lament
music: coldplay - high speed
poetry strewn across the bed
i am now beyond expectation
i am hindsight 20/20 vision
a stereo without treble
--
fingers do not gain confidence
while aging, yet eyes do
having seen and felt, tied
to the brain's third dimension
somehow understanding
what's been seen, what's been felt
--
poetry strewn across the bed
poetry,
thrown across the bed
i will not apologize that i know
the end of my story, unwritten
the hidden path, the unopened doors
and that today i did not live
i only watched from my window,
envious, lethargic,
within a daydream.
poetry strewn across the bed
i am now beyond expectation
i am hindsight 20/20 vision
a stereo without treble
--
fingers do not gain confidence
while aging, yet eyes do
having seen and felt, tied
to the brain's third dimension
somehow understanding
what's been seen, what's been felt
--
poetry strewn across the bed
poetry,
thrown across the bed
i will not apologize that i know
the end of my story, unwritten
the hidden path, the unopened doors
and that today i did not live
i only watched from my window,
envious, lethargic,
within a daydream.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
thoughts.
music: death cab for cutie- transatlanticism
looking back on all the time i wasted thinking of the future here in this room alone with expectation i find it hard sometimes to leave it. blown here and there with the wilted leaves of yesterday's phosphorescent foliage, a life losing its neon. i am needed so i'm told but what do i need? this question follows me through the urban jungle as i go to drown myself in afterthoughts.
looking back on all the time i wasted thinking of the future here in this room alone with expectation i find it hard sometimes to leave it. blown here and there with the wilted leaves of yesterday's phosphorescent foliage, a life losing its neon. i am needed so i'm told but what do i need? this question follows me through the urban jungle as i go to drown myself in afterthoughts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)