searching, always searching

I
expectation, the goings-on--
the rhythm of thought

expectation, something more,
movement, the wind,

a lonely expletive
mumbled under breath

cursing your existence
hoping you are someone

else you believe
has it better

II
the drunk funk of the bar,

weigh-station, libation,
shenanigan not your salvation,

ethereal, lest you forget
caught in a hangover

the wet bed of sweat,
a sober morning

III
It needs to be done, now,
whatever it is

waiting for life to begin
wanting the pain to end

wanting the poem you'll never write
to save you from being you

the timeless mess of consequence,
the belittled id

the psychology of it
neurotic, cigarette butt

granulated sugar,
mcdonald's break

desperate housewife,
tortured soul, infinite madness

a completed circle,
the dotted i in the middle

the loneliness of belonging,
the fleeced masses.

IV
a song i lose myself in
the loss never found

a canceled check
the loan, the bill overdrawn

coffee, liquor
a brother's predicament

katrina, memory
vision of things to come

prophetic
pathetic

travelling without moving
circumstance, chance

fate, the last laugh
the last line

jokes on you
always, you

expectation, living short of it
argument, resolution

duly noted witness
of the absurd

participant in all
you've denounced

hypocrite
depression

loving yourself, holding fast
to the love of others

waiting, for something
not quite sure

can't describe it
but you keep going

until, finally
there are no words left to utter.