Monday, September 19, 2005

i want to believe.

i want to believe someone is listening. i want to believe all this means something. i want to believe in myself. i want to believe that i have control. i want to believe that i can do whatever i want to do in life. i want to believe i will find the motivation, drive that has eluded me for so long. i want to believe that these answers are not at the bottom of some bottle of liquor. i'm tired of drowning my tears in self-destruction. the dry mouth, the hangovers, the wasted time. i want to believe that somewhere there is help for me. i want to believe that i want help as much as i believe i need it.

dear brian,
stop talking to yourself.
it makes my head hurt.

sincerely,
brian

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

all of this blog spamming is beginning to be a bit much. though i've personally suffered one incidence, it seems annoying as all get out. i'm inclined to turn my comments off and simply have persons respond by email if it suits them.

feel better and inspired, by the way. though like is short, you'd be surprised how slowly time flies.