conversation, perspective

Jai and I discussed making a more concerted effort to control our perspective on how we view our lives, actively defining one’s outlook is one of the basic steps to not only changing our general disposition toward occurrences, but also shaping that which is real around us. Honestly, this was one of the most fulfilling conversations I’ve had in a while, sparked by Jai’s interest in the scientific basis of existence, sort of an amalgamation of science, religion and theology. I share Jai’s pessimistic view of the state of things, concerning my life as it stands today. There are many endeavors I want to pursue, many goals I’ve set before myself, however, I find it difficult to move forward. The employment process has turned out to be a very frustrating one, and in hindsight, a journey I should have begun months before I graduated from school. In postponing my graduate school aspirations, it becomes even more critical that I maintain focus on where I want to go (where do I want to go?). My dad always says, “Idle minds are the devil’s workshop” and after a long hiatus from pursuing anything worthwhile, I find it increasingly imperative that I remain active, taking advantage of all the connections I garner through letting people know that I am serious about everything, be it poetry, employment, mentorship, etc.

In other news:
I have three poems in mind and I am brainclouding now:

Paid for silence: my perspective of a 14 year old girl being gunned down after requesting to be paid to keep quiet about a murder she witnessed.

The funeral: my feelings about the death of 19 year old Deloren Young, who was killed during Thanksgiving break, apparently over a “beef” a friend of his, had with some men.

Distraction: part fiction attempt to gain a better understanding of my own exploits in the realm of relationships.

…more than enough on my plate. Apparently, the bucknell seminar for younger poets application is due at the end of the month…my cave canem manuscript should be done by mid-january.

What I’m reading:
Hip: A history by John Leland
A thorough historical view of hip’s contents, from minstrel show of the early and mid- 1800s to the beat generation to the lost generation, to gansta rap. Interesting so far, especially the parallels of what is hip and it’s contradictory personality, being mainstream and non-conforming at the same time. I love Leland’s covering of the jazz age, touching on the importance of bebop, the blues and black and white influences on the music, the relational effect of the changing sounds on the musicians (and how they viewed music) and overall society throughout the history of hip.

The Listening: Poems by Kyle Dargan
This third-year graudate student’s first published collection of work. My favorite poem from this collection at the moment is Surrender IV: Muse. More to say about homeboy in the near future.

Wish list:
Pleasure Dome (New and Selected Poems) by Yusef Komunyakaa
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
How to Be Alone (Essays) by Jonathan Franzen