my mind suspended

my mind suspended between shadow and sun

memory and dream
an early palindrome yesteryear

and the hollow existence of tomorrow

is enough to want for an end
to the voices behind the wall

a need to see through them

the comfort of knowing—
optimism is courted as the love of a lifetime

but

the only known result is the cynical clarity
of counting grains of sand on beaches never visited,

only seen in a magazine full of dead pictures
glowing neon against broken fingers—

the passing of time is an ashtray
of discontent as moonlight mockingly leaves joints

catatonic, a half-waking from
the blue-grey morosity of insomnia—

i think of dying as sweet laughter
buried alive,

or emptiness (as a room without windows
or doors)

the dead end of a smile
hanging from a lover’s lips,

a sorrow with neither beginning
nor end, only

now.